Merry Christmas from Loyola Press - YouTube:
'via Blog this'
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
My personal fight with cancer... Part I
I have been recently asked to share my experiences during the past year in my fight with pancreatic cancer and I must say first off that although I have had experience as a care giver to my mother who died of lung cancer I had no idea at all how to deal with what would be my own battle for life. When I was diagnosed I had been in the hospital for several days waiting for an answer to that big question of "what is that on the CT scan?" I must say that in my heart of hearts I knew that it would be cancer as it not only took my mother in 99' but my sister as well in 98'. My first concern of course was that of my daughter and my grandson but they have lives of their own and as she pointed out I must first take care of myself before I can care for someone else (oh how true).
The oncologist assigned to my case was a man that has an outstanding reputation in the circles of oncology and the surgeon that he brought in was the best in the state so I was well taken care of and was ready to listen to what would become my life's course for however long it lasted. A computer was wheeled into my room and my doctor, Dr. Issam Makhoul began to explain to me just what was taking place inside my body and what we could do about it. I was diagnosed with a common form of pancreatic cancer but what had taken place was that the tumor instead of being at the head of the pancreas was towards the tail and it had begun to wrap itself around various arteries and such that would indicate that surgery was NOT an option for me at the time. It was Stage 4 pancreatic cancer and it is considered terminal in 94% of all known cases, so I can say with all honesty that I was not really happy with this at all. I will never forget Dr. Makhoul's next words to me no matter how long I survive this difficulty, "what we are going to talk about today is going to change your entire life forever." Well in all ways possible his words have been true and I have gone through nothing but change since the day I walked out of UAMS and returned to me life as it was.
In my case surgery is not possible due to the growth of the tumor and it's encasement of my main arteries and if it were attempted it would cause my death by simply bleeding to death due to complications. I was told that chemo and radiation were my only choices and that it "might" shrink the tumor allowing for surgical removal in time if my body reacted to the treatment in a positive manner. So I at once set out to beat this invader by doing all that was recommended in my case. I went through 15 radiation treatments and a round of chemo that included my carrying an infusion pump around for 2 weeks. Well after 6 weeks of treatment and waiting we found that along with the side effects (I was terribly sick) the tumor had grown one full inch in diameter. Ok, I thought, this is great so what next? Well we took a 2 week break, circled the wagons and came up with a new plan that we hoped would make some kind of difference. I was taken off of the radiation treatments and was given a chemo cocktail made up of three different drugs which again included the infusion pump so away we went with the new process!!!! I was sick for over three weeks and there was no answer to this but after a new CT scan it showed that we had halted the growth of the tumor, my blood work came back fine so maybe, just maybe we had found the answer......
During these first few months of treatment for cancer I was told over and over by people that had come into my life that my oncology nurse would become my best friend and that I should depend on said nurse for all of the answers needed during my treatment for cancer. Well I for one agree and the importance of this should never be over shadowed by anything else. She is indeed your first line of communication in ALL matters pertaining to your treatment and to your life, or how you will be able to live it. For me, it was time for a major change because my nurse, Michele and I could not get along. The way I see it, I am in control of how my case should be handled and what meds I am willing to pump into my body no matter the opinions of anyone else. Michele could not see this so we had to part ways. Now I must say that Dr. Makhoul did try to accommodate me and I will be forever grateful but the problems between Michele and I grew to a personal level and had to be put to rest. I am now with Dr. Thomas Sneed at Arkansas Oncology and I could not be happier. The staff here does their very best to make sure that I am comfortable in everything, from decision making, to my meds, and to any care that I need at any stage of my treatment. It takes a bit longer to do the chemo sessions here but it is more than worth it. My last session lasted for 3 1/2 hours and I was not only fine with it but was a bit aggravated that it was time to go as I was watching a movie on my iPhone
Tomorrow I will share how the cancer has affected my personal life and how I have fared with it but most of all, before I go on with anything I have to say these few things.....
If you ever have to deal with cancer or any other life changing medical issues make sure you are comfortable with the people who are treating you. You must have the utmost trust and confidence in them and you must think clearly about your future and how it affects everyone around you. Things may well never be the same for me but they can be better and that my friends, is a lesson well learned.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Just feeling blessed......
I woke up this morning feeling better than I have in about a week or so. This cancer has some real setbacks but on those days that I feel really good so much stands out and I am forever grateful for my life.
As I look around the house at all of the wonderful decorations my beautiful Suzanne has made for us I cannot help feeling somewhat saddened that so much of the family has passed on. I so wish I could share my new family with my mother knowing that she would just love Suzanne and would love spending time with her over morning coffee. I wish I could talk with my grandfather and share with him the wonderful things that have now become a part of my life. I do know that I can do these things through simple prayer and I am grateful for that. And the knowledge that I will see them again one day fills me with love for God and all He makes possible.
My biggest prayer today though is for those that feel alone this holiday season and I pray that they might find comfort in the celebration of our Lords birth. I too, like so many others feel alone sometimes now that I am older and people have vanished from my life but I am thankful though and very grateful for this time the Lord has given me. I know it is really just a small thing but today, just being me is a blessing.......
Merry Christmas to all and may the Lord fill your lives with love this holiday season!!!
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Big question for all of Christianity...
For most of my 52 years I have loved reading the Word of God. It's history and it's simple life lessons reach far beyond any "self help" book I have ever read. I have allowed it to guide my thinking and my purpose for many years now and I regret my youth having been away from the Church following my own desires allowing myself to be guided by whim and happenstance, but now those days are in the past and I am comfortable with my life now having made my peace with both God and man. I do though struggle at times here in the South where I have chosen to make my home. The South, or the "Bible Belt" as it has been called are predominantly Protestant and are so hard headed about the "Bible First" thing that they are blinded to the fact that the Church existed long before we had the "Bible" so, I ask you:
Does the Bible serve the Church, or does the Church serve the Bible?
Back after the resurrection they still relied on scripture found in the Torah, the first five books of the Bible OT. It was not until a couple of hundred years later that a "book" was put together citing the words of our Church fathers who were indeed inspired and compelled to give us the Word by the Holy Spirit. We must then understand that these were still written by mortal men who wrote with the only understandings they had from their culture at the time, not a "dictation from God." These men still believed that the earth was flat, that there were sea monsters, that certain forms of illness were signs of demonic spirits who ruled the souls of the infirm. The list goes on and on so we, the people of today must take all this into consideration when we examine Scripture, make and draw conclusions that define how we live our lives today.
Now, keeping all of this in mind we know that the Church did in-fact give us the Bible we know and use today thus letting us know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Bible indeed serves the Church giving us a "basic" blueprint for life not, an all knowing, unbend able set of rules we must adhere to or die.
The Bible is a wonderful book and truly the inspired Word of God and we must truly be thankful for it. We must not though discount the other writings of our Church fathers throwing them aside as non-biblical crappola. So my friends, all I say on this is that we must study ALL we can in order to live our lives by the example of those that came before us and we must never ignore what is being written and said today by men and women like John Paul II, Mother Theresa, Merton and so many others. Its all part of the journey and the wonder and beauty is there for all of us to enjoy and to enrich our lives with everyday!
Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays to all!!!!!!
Does the Bible serve the Church, or does the Church serve the Bible?
Back after the resurrection they still relied on scripture found in the Torah, the first five books of the Bible OT. It was not until a couple of hundred years later that a "book" was put together citing the words of our Church fathers who were indeed inspired and compelled to give us the Word by the Holy Spirit. We must then understand that these were still written by mortal men who wrote with the only understandings they had from their culture at the time, not a "dictation from God." These men still believed that the earth was flat, that there were sea monsters, that certain forms of illness were signs of demonic spirits who ruled the souls of the infirm. The list goes on and on so we, the people of today must take all this into consideration when we examine Scripture, make and draw conclusions that define how we live our lives today.
Now, keeping all of this in mind we know that the Church did in-fact give us the Bible we know and use today thus letting us know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Bible indeed serves the Church giving us a "basic" blueprint for life not, an all knowing, unbend able set of rules we must adhere to or die.
The Bible is a wonderful book and truly the inspired Word of God and we must truly be thankful for it. We must not though discount the other writings of our Church fathers throwing them aside as non-biblical crappola. So my friends, all I say on this is that we must study ALL we can in order to live our lives by the example of those that came before us and we must never ignore what is being written and said today by men and women like John Paul II, Mother Theresa, Merton and so many others. Its all part of the journey and the wonder and beauty is there for all of us to enjoy and to enrich our lives with everyday!
Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays to all!!!!!!
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