Big question for all of Christianity...

For most of my 52 years I have loved reading the Word of God. It's history and it's simple life lessons reach far beyond any "self help" book I have ever read. I have allowed it to guide my thinking and my purpose for many years now and I regret my youth having been away from the Church following my own desires allowing myself to be guided by whim and happenstance, but now those days are in the past and I am comfortable with my life now having made my peace with both God and man. I do though struggle at times here in the South where I have chosen to make my home. The South, or the "Bible Belt" as it has been called are predominantly Protestant and are so hard headed about the "Bible First" thing that they are blinded to the fact that the Church existed long before we had the "Bible" so, I ask you:

Does the Bible serve the Church, or does the Church serve the Bible?

Back after the resurrection they still relied on scripture found in the Torah, the first five books of the Bible OT. It was not until a couple of hundred years later that a "book" was put together citing the words of our Church fathers who were indeed inspired and compelled to give us the Word by the Holy Spirit. We must then understand that these were still written by mortal men who wrote with the only understandings they had from their culture at the time, not a "dictation from God." These men still believed that the earth was flat, that there were sea monsters, that certain forms of illness were signs of demonic spirits who ruled the souls of the infirm. The list goes on and on so we, the people of today must take all this into consideration when we examine Scripture, make and draw conclusions that define how we live our lives today.

Now, keeping all of this in mind we know that the Church did in-fact give us the Bible we know and use today thus letting us know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Bible indeed serves the Church giving us a "basic" blueprint for life not, an all knowing, unbend able set of rules we must adhere to or die.

The Bible is a wonderful book and truly the inspired Word of God and we must truly be thankful for it. We must not though discount the other writings of our Church fathers throwing them aside as non-biblical crappola. So my friends, all I say on this is that we must study ALL we can in order to live our lives by the example of those that came before us and we must never ignore what is being written and said today by men and women like John Paul II, Mother Theresa, Merton and so many others. Its all part of the journey and the wonder and beauty is there for all of us to enjoy and to enrich our lives with everyday!

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays to all!!!!!! 

Well, 2011 is winding down.....

Well here we are going into December, finishing up 2011 and I have been reflecting on just what has taken place in my life this past year. We all know that January started this year off really bad for me with being very ill and then being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer before the second week of the new year was over. That was a pretty heavy smack in the mouth but I must say that I have bounced back pretty well. I did spend the first 8 months of the year receiving second rate treatment for my cancer from UAMS in Little Rock but at the time I knew nothing of my options or what other clinics and doctors were available to me. I knew nothing about being on full disability having lost any opportunity to further my plans career wise and knew nothing about having to use state funded medicaid for my insurance plan. Oh but I have learned so much along the way and now I am very happy with the direction my cancer treatment is going.

In June I finally lost all patience with my oncology nurse at UAMS after being told over and over again by advocacy partners that "my oncology nurse is the most important member of my team." Well my oncology nurse, Ms. Michelle Welch constantly belittled me with her condescending manner of communicagtion and her constant chip on the shoulder attitude and it was just too much to take. That coupled with the fact that it felt like I was just a bovine in the heard at a hospital the size of UAMS with no personalized care that I began to become depressed and was losing hope. It was just this that I brought up with my new primary care doctor here in Cabot and he, Dr. Dan Riner (great doctor) referred me to Arkansas Oncology and Dr. Thomas Sneed. Wow, what a difference, what a change!!!! The moment I walked into the office I felt at ease which is something I NEVER felt while at UAMS. The staff was smiling and happy, the nurses were very attentive to my needs and Dr. Sneed, well he was a total change from what I had become accustomed to I did not know what to say nor how to act. It took a couple of weeks to get my records moved to his office (another debacle by UAMS) but once he had everything he wasted no time in laying out a treatment plan and putting it into action. I had gone through radiation and through chemo treatments (twice on the chemo) while at UAMS and was nothing but ill from the start to the end every time but once I started with my new team I have to say that again I felt at ease which in turn eliminated most of the illness that I had associated with cancer treatment. I have begun my first round of chemo with the same drugs used and was really ill only one day during the first week after the treatment and that was mild compared to what I had gone through before. In-fact, my only complaint today is that I am having trouble regaining my desire to eat a full meal. I have been hovering around 165 - 170 pounds for the past few months and Dr. Sneed assures me that we can fix this with no problem at all with a drug that enhances my desire for food (no, not marijuana). So all in all I once again have real hope brought about by both my feeling of better health and the wonderful care that I am now receiving. Thank God for Dr. Riner and for Dr. Sneed as they have changed my life for the better!!!

Now as for the rest of the year, I have undergone a lot of changes here as well. Some for the better but some not and I guess that is simply part of life and must be dealt with in an honest and intelligent approach by self w/o any negative input from outside sources..... My daughter Alisha and her new husband Terry have moved to Indiana so that my daughter can finish school at Purdue and that I must say is a real plus for her but I sure do miss them and my grandson Jack and my fear of dying while they are away is very real indeed. This too is simply something I must deal with knowing that my child is making the most of her life and that her dreams are coming true, so what else could a father ask for. Ok, to be honest here I wish they were not so far away but oh well.....

In May I left my job at the homeless ministry and by July had moved from Little Rock to Cabot and I have to say that I love being here in Cabot and it has given me a true feeling of being "at home." I have tried to pursue part time work but my cancer treatment has pretty much put up a road block here at least for now so this is something else I must deal with. I have to say that I really do miss working everyday and it has left a hole in my life that has remained empty but again I must understand that this is necessary right now and that it is not the end. I may yet have the chance to work again and that in itself is something to work towards.

My family life has grown with the addition of my girlfriends grandchildren and that I must say has been a great blessing for both her and I. They are great kids and I look forward to having a wonderful holiday season watching them smile as they move towards Christmas day and the wonder it brings for children. I could not ask for more and I am happy to be a part of it. My girlfriend Suzanne has made a wonderful home for us here and has decorated our house to the max and I find myself looking forward to Christmas with the wonder of a child as I see the lights on the tree come on and figurines dancing in every corner of our living room. Yes, again I have to say that I am a truly blessed individual and I have a lot of hope for the future.

On the downside this year Suzanne's health has become a problem and she is going through some difficulties that leave us both sad but we are doing our best in finding the help she needs to have a healthy and happy holiday. She is a trooper though and as I said above has made a wonderful home for us and I love her with all of my heart.

So as 2011 comes to a close I have to say that I feel like a normal person with all the problems and joys that we all share on a daily basis. I remind myself everyday that there are many out there who are in need of the most fundamental things and that they are suffering beyond anything I have ever known. I pray for them everyday that they too might find their little place in the world to experience the day to trials we all face w/o the trials of being homeless and hungry.

May God Bless us and keep us this holiday season and may He keep us all under His loving care now and forever.....

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!!!!

Bill Karabinus
November 29, 2011